Top 5 Songs with Terrible Lyrics

Since I professed my love yesterday for songs with awful lyrics that happen to be catchy as hell, today’s hastily assembled Top 5 list is about songs with much worse lyrics than Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and will probably be famous for much longer. So turn down the hate, folks.

5. "Peaches" by Presidents of the United States of America – I love this song and let’s be honest, these lyrics are very stupid. Some people try to claim there’s a deeper meaning to them (sex) but there’s not. PUSA confirms it; this really is just a song about eating peaches.

4. "The Sign" by Ace of Base – As a kid, I listened to this cassette pretty much every day. And if I had the chance, I might do it today. They actually won awards for this song, and it’s awful. Random phrases like “under the pale moon, where I see a lot of stars” lead absolutely nowhere. Doesn’t matter. Everybody got into this jam.

3. "Catch My Disease" by Ben Lee – Maybe less famous than others, but just as nonsensical. I love Ben Lee, but this has to be the dumbest of his songs, which is probably why it was his biggest hit. Bubbly pop, a sing-song chorus, and instantaneous feel-good music (with clapping!) will bury this song in your head all day. I know it’s wrong, but I love it so.

2. "We Built This City" by Starship – I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t turn the radio up when this song comes on. It’s the best. And the worst. It was co-written by the great lyricist Bernie Taupin, which is shocking. This disappointing turn for the once great Jefferson Airplane has terrible lyrics. But it's got fantastic vocal harmony and it’s totally danceable! It makes you say “Hey you’re right! We did build this city on rock and roll! Defiance!”

1. "MMMBop" by Hanson – The ultimate nonsense song that heroically plagued a nation. It’s not easy to do, but “MMMBop” does it beautifully. But then again, these boys are from Tulsa, so you know, they’re badasses. The verses reach for some kind of meaning, but they never achieve it. And the chorus, as you know, is just a jumble of letters. They might mean something, after all “in an mmm bop they’re gone,” but they don’t. This song just gets better with age. If you haven’t listened to it in years, do yourself a favor and do so now. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.